The Dizzy Butterfly

If you've ever worked really hard at something in order to see it grow and change, working to the point of exhaustion... you can probably relate with me today. It feels absolutely amazing to be on the ground-laying level of things, working to make sure the details all flow together. You see the plans you made, the ideas you had, the vision you set taking shape and starting to meld, and you realize how fulfilling the whole thing is.

But it's like the climax of a novel: There's a deadline or forty-two to meet, there are people who are relying on you to get your end in line, people who are willing to show up and help you if you're organized enough to be able to tell them what has to happen, projects that could very well flop if you don't do what you said you would. You have to come through. And with any kind of thing where you have even a little influence, whether you're in class or on the job, you've got to have perseverance.

For me today, that included six hours of planning and practicing music for chapels here on campus, plus a three-hour meeting for my job in the admissions office, plus two hours of biology homework. Whew... But... It's amazing! I'm seriously not trying to brag, but I am really excited about the things I'm involved in this year, and about the people I'm doing them with. I'm watching projects come together and ideas and even dreams being lived out! Though I have to confess, I still feel overwhelmed. There's still so much left to do! I'm not sure what these skills are that God's trying to hone in me, but I have this feeling that all of this stress right now is really part of something bigger, something he's trying to get me to understand.

Today, life feels like... I'm spinning around so fast the world's a blur around me. So dizzy, now that the day's over I just want to flop back on the couch and let it catch up with me. But even times like today when I'm stretched beyond belief, I know God's using this as a cocoon experience. It's a tight squeeze, but I think I'll be a better person in the end because of it.